As a people leader, you will need to become adept at giving and receiving feedback. Start this practice by modeling how to receive feedback from your direct reports.
In order to continually improve and get to the next level, you will need to convince your people to tell you the truth about your blindspots and areas that need strengthening. You do this by receiving feedback gracefully.
Using this framework helps ensure you get the truth without reacting negatively.
It pairs with the Absolute Feedback format — you've already asked your report for a rating, what you're doing well, and what you can do to get to the next level. They've written it out, and now you're sitting together.
Start with thank you. "I really appreciate this feedback, and I appreciate your honesty."
This sounds obvious but it matters. Giving your manager critical feedback is a risk and it takes courage and trust. Let them know you appreciate it before going any further.
Once you’ve read their written feedback, ask them to verbalize the “get to the next level” piece. Why? When people speak the feedback they add more resolution to the message—emotion, extra context, body language.
Resist the temptation to interrupt or defend. If they start repeating themselves, you can pause them and reflect what you’ve heard so far.
Once they’ve verbalized it, repeat back what you heard in your own words. Keep it concise. Then ask: "Did I get that right?" or “Is there more?”
If they say "almost" or "not quite," ask them to clarify the part you missed. Say it back again. Keep repeating this until they say "yep, that's it."
This is called reflection. It ensures you actually heard the feedback and it makes them feel listened to. It’s up to them to tell you when this need is satisfied.
Once they’ve confirmed you heard the feedback, let them know whether or not you accept the feedback. You can choose to accept all of it, some of it, or none of it. If there’s anything you don’t accept, explain why. Explaining your thinking or additional context helps them grow and understand you better.
If you leave it ambiguous or engage in a debate where they have to defend themselves, it’s likely they won’t bother to reveal the critical feedback next time and you’ll get softballs going forward.
Make it easy for them to speak their mind.
Decide on an action you'll take to implement the feedback. Put a due date on it. Best if it's something you can do within a week.
Ask, “What can I do to start implementing this feedback today?”
Once the action is done, let them know, to complete the accountability loop. Remember, you’re modeling the behavior you expect from them as well.